Parking Lot Homicide

Americans are known for 2 things.

1.) Gluttony
2.) Ridiculously Bad Driving
Honorable Mention:Fake Boobs

Walking out of Borders (www.Borders.com) this past Saturday afternoon. I almost got hit by a car in the parking lot. Walking to my own car, these people clearly see me walking, but still start to pull out with me less then 3-5 feet behind their car. Being the stubborn prick I am, continue to keep walking.

You're probably thinking what does the picture at the left have to do with me almost getting hit by a car? Well if you have not put one and two together yet, I am now facing homicide charges. Well, almost faced homicide charges. This guy kept going, he winds up missing me by a foot. This has me livid. Had he hit me, believe me, I would have been a machete-wielding murderer. I would have chopped this motherfucker in the chest, through his door, because I have that much strength that I can do that. I would probably do some form of a wrestling move before slashing his sternum, in order to do this, I would have to remove him from the automobile. I am not strong enough to do a wrestling move to him while still in the car.

My wrestling move of choice would be the Razor's edge. I would implement my surroundings into the move. I would do this move pictured at the left, however they wouldn't be falling onto a padded ring. They would be falling directly into the pit of hell. By pit of hell, I mean my trunk.

To sum all of this up in a nutshell. Some idiots just need to be slashed with a machete in return for idiocy in parking lots. The ironic thing about this, is I have spoken the words "If you hit me, I will fucking kill you" in many parking lots before. Luckily nobody has hit me, if they did, make no mistake, I would fucking kill them.....twice.